What may seem depressing or even tragic to one person may seem like an absolute scream to another person, especially if he has had between four and seven beers.
It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.
We operate under a jury system in this country, and as much as we complain about it, we have to admit that we know of no better system, except possibly flipping a coin.
To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent.
Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined as a person who remembers when there was no Velcro.
I believe that we parents must encourage our children to become educated, so they can get into a good college that we cannot afford.
Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.
As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula.
It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for the opportunity to rain on a tent.
The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look like giant thumbs.
The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion or ethnic background, is that we all believe we are above-average drivers.
Violence and smut are of course everywhere on the airwaves. You cannot turn on your television without seeing them, although sometimes you have to hunt around.
People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
Hobbies of any kind are boring except to people who have the same hobby. This is also true of religion, although you will not find me saying so in print.
Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.
In 1765, Parliament passed the Stamp Act, which, as any American high school student can tell you, was an act that apparently had something to do with stamps.
American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, including floor wax, that has fat in it.
The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates.
Bill Gates is a very rich man today... and do you want to know why? The answer is one word: versions.